Then there was complete blackness...
In my hand, a bottle of Amarula liquor, and I'm about to purchase it at the Duty Free Shop at the airport. I had just haggled with the register girl because she was offering me a bad exchange rate for my shillings. As I was handing over the money-blackout. The entire airport is covered in a shroud of darkness. The chatter outside the store now absolute dead silence as everyone pulls their belongings to their side and wait for the backup generator to kick on or the power to go back on.
And they wait...
I had enough time to walk out of the store, find my video camera and record the complete blackness. Then the lights kicked on again, but just the emergency lights. All the stores closing hours abruptly came and the doors shut. Then after 10 minutes, the emergency lights blacked out. Apparently the backup .generator ran out of gas. The only light coming from the rapidly falling sun as it was settling on the horizon and again silence. Now-nearly an hour after the lights first went out-only the emergency lights are on. Jomo Kenyatta Airport-despite being the largest and highest traffic airport in Kenya is about 1/3 the size of the airport in Memphis, TN (which is a small airport by US standards). The airport in Kisumu on the other hand was a single runway, had 1 gate, and you had to walk to your plane-the entire airport terminal was smaller than our house in Cumming, GA and this is in a major city (Kisumu being the 3rd largest city in Kenya).
The emergency lights then went out again...
Now that the sun is down, the only light is from traveller's laptops and the runway lights. It's truly eerie. I have shot video of this darkness, it's strange-most of the people here are white and non-English speaking. In the dark I hear French, Dutch, and a mash-up of dialects but no clear English can be heard. No power means no air conditioning (just like all of Africa), the sweat of the day odor lingers on those around me-the air is stagnant with it. At least the overpriced Tusker at the airport is still cold, it may be my last one for awhile-one of a short list of things I will miss here. Around me I hear whisperings, apparently all of Nairobi is in blackness and they sure as hell don't have emergency generators in many places.
I guess it was only fitting on my last day here that this should happen. Good thing I leaved my shaker flashlight in my checked bag. The emergency lights now being off for a 10 minutes with no sign of coming on. Overhead, a pleasant little chime and a female announces (in swahili then english) that a certain plane have arrived at the gate. Too bad no one can see where their gate is anymore, but since there is only 14 gates (that's lucky 13 more than all the other airports in Kenya) you might have a chance feeling blindly for the chest of the ticket agent at a gate-at least that's what I did.
That wasn't the only surprise to happen at a gate.
As I was sitting outside the security scan at the entrance to the airport, trying to redistribute the weight of my carry on luggage and my checked bag so I wouldn't go over limit, I thought back to the 2 foot machete in my checked bag and looked at a large sign above the metal detector. A circle slash was over a pocketknife, but also over knives, forks, and yes even spoons. Apparently, Al Queda's newest strategy is to pull your eyes out with melon ballers from williams-sonoma before vigorously brushing your teeth to death. There's no way in hell my pangaa is going to make it through. I watch as the bag goes through security and the color xray shows the huge blade. The security screener looks at me and says "you have a pangaa in your bag?"
"Yeah, but that's ok right?"
"Yes, the main problem is you have a container of aerosol (my bug spray), you have to remove that from your carry on please."
Unbelievable. After I leave the security screen I walk away, and actually rearrange the stuff in my check bag-meaning I could have grabbed the pangaa at that moment and put it on my carry on-that's scary. It looks like though at each gate they have an additional security screen like at Schipol in Amsterdam to prevent this from happening.
The last thing I want to do is create an incident that keeps me here, which reminds me of something that happened 4 hours ago.
My cervical spine bounces back and forth like a metronome as we tear ass down the dirt roads leaving from the masai mara. The dirt road is marred with beach ball sized pit holes and sudden dips that rocket my head into the ceiling despite wearing my seat belt. The entire ride feels like you are riding a jackhammer. The safari in the park was also in this vehicle and the roads were just as perilous, but we were driving at most 15 miles an hour so while it was jarring it wasn't this bad. The non-existent shocks become glaringly apparent at about 25 mph. I look at my watch, it's a 6 hour drive back to Nairobi and only about 15% of the way is paved. Our tour guide said we would make it back by 4pm, but that was before I was familiar with the concept of "African time"-meaning when someone gives you a time to meet, you should probably be happy if it happens within 1-3 hours of when it was originally scheduled. More than anything, this is the #1 complaint I get from all the folks I talk to from industrialized nations. Several hours into the jarring ride, we stop for lunch and wait on "African time" for another tour van to show up so we can swap passengers. Tired of waiting, I scope out my environment and spot a bunch of kids playing with loose strands of barbed wire. I go up to the group of kids and ask what they are doing but none of them understand English. I snap a few pictures of them, which draws a crowd of kids. These kids were beggers, which I quickly found out as their english speaking leader asked me for money. Looking at my watch and thinking about that I will be leaving Africa in a matter of hours, one thing was still left unaccomplished-teach the children of Africa the "Stanky Leg". Perhaps because they thought I would give them money, they actually did do the Stanky Leg and I was able to record it, too bad they were wrong about me giving them money. Eventually, another van shows up and we pick up 2 sweedish girls. I thought I was a real trouper being here in Kenya for a month-turns out of all the people I met on Safari I had been here the least amount of time. No one was really on vacation, and apparently Europeans actually pay to volunteer when they go to third world countries. How much do they pay? Upwards of 1-2 thousand US dollars to pour porridge for orphans! Before you think "well, it helps the orphans" think again-the money goes into the agency that arranges the volunteering. These two Swedes were also coming from Safari in the Masai Mara and were spending time volunteering in Ngong in an orphanage. While they were on Safari, they reached the Mara river and at this point the tour groups are actually allowed to leave their van and check out the hippos and crocodiles. However, since hippos kill more Africans per year than any other animal, you are only allowed to get near the river with a KWS (Kenyan Wildlife Service) employee, who just so happens to carry an assault rifle with bayonet. Well, our Swedes were given a private tour by a KWS when in the forest he turns to them and says "I will take one of you, only one of you will return to Sweden". The girls of course thought he was joking so he asks "does my gun make you afraid?" It was then they realize he isn't kidding and they head to the safety of their tour van pronto. I managed to get a video of them telling this whole account. Turns out that our added speed on that bumpy trail got us back into Nairobi by 4:30, much better than my Africa time expectations.
From Nairobi I boarded a bus to the airport. A taxicab ride to the airport would be about 1700-2000 KSH but the bus was only 50 KSH, a real bargain and since I had time, I took the bus here. Turns out the buses, like the matatu van transports, won't budge until EVERY seat is filled, so I sat in the back row of the bus, the window to my right and a mother and her pooping child nuzzled up to me on my left. There was no breathing room to reach into my pocket to get my camera, and I doubt I could have gotten good shots through the dirty window, but what I saw was amazing. Like the rest of Kenya, trash was strewn in the streets, but the bus ride marked the first time I saw a particular animal: the pig. As we were crossing a bridge, several pigs were under the bridge sorting through the garbage piled up near the stream below. Not once this month, was pork ever on a menu nor could it be found in the grocery stores. Turns out that Kenyans are not high on the hog-preferring goat, lamb, beef or chicken and it doesn't seem to be due to religious reasons because only a small amount of Kenyans are of the Islamic faith. (Future edit-I discovered a few hours later on the plane sitting next to a couple that spends 4 months a year running a theological college in Eldoret that pork is available in certain geographic regions of Kenya).
Have you been in deep in an urban city and seen those vans that are covered with ads and graphics for rap stars and their upcoming albums? Kenya's matatus (crowded van taxis) are generally decked out with one of two different designs: pictures of Jesus and bible quotes or pictures of gangster rappers and popular mass murders. Other matatus will have clothing brands painted all over it (Sean John etc) despite clearly they are not being paid for the advertisement. Most of the matatus I saw in Nairobi even had names on stickers on the driver's window adding a lot of personality to each vehicle. Nairobi in general had a lot of personality and about 2 square blocks of actual money (which is where the Hilton is located)-the rest is abject poverty and a heavy population density just like the rest of Kenya. Many of the smaller storefronts are painted in safaricom or Orange ads just like in the smaller towns (turns out the small businesses get their place painted free if they agree to have it painted like an ad-which is why so many of the buildings here are neon pink (Zain telecom), Orange and white (Orange telecom) or Bright green (safaricom).
So now I look at the dark skies in the gate for my plane, a fat englishman in safari gear is talking about the "Scheduled power rationing" and that all of Nairobi should be dark right now. Getting to the airport early turned out to be a punishment considering how incredibly hot it is. There's no moonlight, no starlight here, but thankfully the backup generators are powering the runway. Hopefully the air traffic control will see the planes on the runway (unlike when I came here) and we will leave on time.
Future edit #2-of course we didn't leave on time, but the delay was only about 45 minutes. I'm now sitting at my gate at Schipol in Amsterdam as people file in to go to Detroit. Immediately after leaving the plane I felt a rush of cold air and wonder what cold weather will feel like again. Amsterdam's airport is a lot like Ikea-everything is shapely, clean, and technology is being sold at every store. Unlike Ikea, their prices are through the roof, especially since it's about 1.6 dollars to a Euro. Kenya was the same way when it came to buying tech-the latest tech was either unavailable or ridiculously expensive compared to US prices. Kenyans find workarounds though, particularly when it comes to cell phones. There are no cell phone plans as far as I could tell, it was all pay as you go. The cheapest phones like the one I used could be had for $10 US. Remember those cellphones you used 5 years ago? The ones right after the starcom and right before your Razr? The one you lost, either you thought you left it at the gym or it fell out of your pocket at the movie theater, well it ended up in Kenya. The majority of people are using 5 year old unlocked phones while Nokia phones cater to the mid and high range. I remember coming here on the 5th of Oct and thinking that Amsterdam has the best sunrises I've ever seen, well Kenya has the best sunsets in both the literal and metaphorical way. See you all soon!
Painful Lessons in Swahilil-Triple Threat
I didn't forget that the last entry didn't have any Swahili and that I've had radio silence the last few days-here's your reward
Thankfully his kidneys had good health insurance so that they could remove the cancerous person growing around them.
Alifanyiwa upasuaju kutolewa figo
"He was operated to be removed his kidney"
Melanoma's a bitch, but so is being thrown in an incinerator during your country's latest genocide
Ngozi yake ya rangi ya hudhurungi iligeuka na kuwa nyeusi
"Her brown skin became black"
If you keep running and take performance enhancing drugs, sometimes you'll grow an extra toe or two.
Alijikwaa kidole cha mguu akikimbia
"He trippled his toe while running"
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